Had I been fooled again? Sorrow & pain

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In the middle of the night
There came a hand, to support me
That assured me, it would stay.
I trusted it with all my heart
I got encouraged in my heart
That true love still survives
Somewhere in this world.
That hand promised to guide me
To hold me when I was scared.
To give me all the love
To be with me through thick and thin
I trusted that hand with all my heart.
But just in a moment As I blinked my eyes
That hand vanished somewhere
In the mist of the night
And I was left all alone, once again,
My heart raised a question
Had I been fooled again?
And the tear from my eye answered

Tya!
6th Feb 2002′

MY DREAM GUY

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Just as I walked alone,
in this way of life
A Light from heaven shed on me
Leaving my eyes hazy
And senses to senseless
I felt the warmth right beside me
A warmth that felt like my own
A feeling of sweetness
A touch of love
It all seemed too familiar
As if I have known it forever
And then suddenly
My eyes were given the sight
And I saw him right there
Right beside me, with me
It felt like a dream,
But oh well it was real
I wasn’t dreaming any more
My dreams were answered
The man from my dreams
Was right here with me
Like a companion he moved
Like a friend he listened
He was all I dreamt of
The feeling was pure
He did not promise me though
But I knew he is forever mine
That smile, the touch and the voice
Every moment was so pure
I questioned God “Is this true”?
And the star in the sky sparkled
The very moment was a blessing
As he stood in front of me
And kissed my dreams away
He came into my life
And enlightened my soul
To be mine forever
I looked at the sky
And the stars brightened
Instantly I knew
This is for real
Brought to me live
The Guy from my dreams.

Tya!
19th Sep 2002′

“Confusion”

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At times there are days when u just dont know waht to do
At times there are days whenevery thing is so much clear to u
Yet i dont know why i hold back the fear
To tell some one that they realy are dear.
Life has taught me many things
but i just dont know what to do
for when i am with u,
I feel some thing is coming over me
But i cant make out neither can i see.
I might know what it is
but let me tell u this
That whenevr u look at me
I know whats there behind those eyes
I know what that smile says
and think i know what i know
yet u shuold never be too sure
Of knowing what u know
For u might just have it all wrong.
And u dont know what to do.
It mght be the fear, it might be a heist
the reason for me to resist.
Only god knows what it is
there is nothing that i want to miss
in all the givings of life,
and yet u know when it is there
ur heart beats so that u can hear
ur skin gets goose and ur body shivers
and a smile that tell it all
what ur trying to hide.

Tya!
9th Dec 2002′

I wonder…..”Why Me?”

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As ‘I walk in the morning fog

Memories strike back to me

The brown leaves under my feet

And the crunch noises as I walk

Haunt me to scare to death

I wonder y me?

The sound of leaves

As they move,

That foggy smell

And whispers of birds

Drive me back to my past

From which I hardly recovered

I wonder y me?

Recalling that dreadful moment

When my heart was torn in two

When the promises were broken

And trust was shattered

An innocent life was killed

That was within me

I wonder y me?

When you gave your decision

And showed me my way,

When u told me, we were separate,

I gave u so much love,

But I am not the one

I wondered y me?

Tya!
12th Feb 2002′

“A Feeling”

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It was really strange how I felt through out dat time of waiting. A little of happiness, thrill and excitement was involved. It was really weird how things got so different.
Life was not dis way ever since I had known it. Dere was some thing going on in da back of my mind and I guess couldn’t figure out what it was. All I knew that it was pretty irritating and frustrating.
I had been waiting for him since long and now that the time as there, I really felt as if I will loose my conscious. I didn’t know how to react to this particular situation. But yet it was right there in front of me to welcome it.
He was there right there. I couldn’t believe my eyes. For a second I thought that I was dreaming, I wanted to touch him to make sure that he was for real but I was afraid to do that. What if he vanished if I touch him? What if I never see him again? My mind was getting more and more puzzled as the time was walking. My heart was pounding. My eyes were waiting and my mouth was dry. The coming moment could bring to me any thing that I might not be ready for. Yet there was a little ting of excitement some where in my heart. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as the time was passing.
I knew the time was coming closer; I had no choice to back out. I cud only move ahead n challenge my luck, see what happens. Risk my self in the hands of time. Now he was standing right in front of me, moving back was no option any more, I went ahead, totally scared of losing him, I motioned my hand to touch him. He was smiling, looking right through my eyes. I felt so warm so safe that my fingers actually touched his face. He seemed real, he was still there. A few minutes passed and my fears came to life again, he started to vanish, he was falling back, I reached out for his hand, even grabbed it for a sec but cud’nt hold on to it much longer. I lost him He vanished. I closed my eyes to regain my self, when I opened my eyes I was in my bed. I thanked God it was ONLY a dream. Yet a Tear from my eye rolled down my cheek……………

Tya!
03′

“The Horse Guy”

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All i cud c were heads millions and millions
and the only face i saw …. was ur!s.
from far away
u stood out from the crowd.
u were on the stall
with ur beautiful horse
i cudnt take my eyes off u
i came to u
hoping that u wud c me but u didnt
i went ahead half hearted but looked back
and u were looking at me
this time i looked away.
i stayed there for a long time
but then it was time to go
the show was off
i knew i had to do sumthing now
so i gathered all my courage
and promised my self
that this time i wont look away
being determined i looked at u
u were surrounded by prople
oh those eyes
soo deep adn tender
the look of pride onur face
and the way ur lips curled
in a beautiful smile
it was all too intoxicating
i kept on looking at u.
just so u notice me
as the crowed started to move away
our eyes met,
neither u looked away, neither i
and then u were distracted by the people again
i stayed there. but oh no u were leaving
u walked away with ur horse
i thought i wud never see u again
i came out of the stall
sadness all over my face
but my friend told me to look behind
as i did, i cudnt stop smiling to my self
it was u standing there….looking at me
we looked at each other on and off
i was thinking what this was
and u swept me off my feet
u smiled at me,
i thought i will faint,
i looked at my friend
and my lips curled into a smile
my friends pushed me tot alk to u,
but as i took the step, u had started to move
looking right at me, our eyes locked
as u moved towards me,
for a second i thought u wud talk to me
but u just passed by me.
untill my friend told me that u were waiting
i abruptly looked back and our eyes met.
once again as i was about to take a step
u started going away.
i cudnt think of any thing
so i started to follow u
in millions of heads,it seemed impossible
to keep a track of u
but my following came to an end
when u stood there,
commanding the guyz for ur horse
and i gathered all my strength
to walk up to u this time
but my faith didnt support me
as i turned, u had vanished in the crowd.
and this time i didnt follow u
i stood there, watching u go.
go away, knowing that
i will never c u again
i waited but u neva came back.
and i left with a heavy heart
since then i havnt been able
to get you out of my mind
all i have is a picture of u
with ur horse
i have been thinking about u
and always will
coz u have intoxicated me
its just funny, how one look
can do soo much to u
but i will never know
if it was any thing
i might never see u again
may be it was nothing
or may be we were connect for few seconds
Seems like, i will wonder
for a long long time
if it was eva meant to be
and i lost u.
May be… for ever.

Tya!
25th June 06

“Is it only me???”

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Is it only me???
Or is it us?
When you are alone
And you don’t have any one
Do u go out to find a substitute
Or wait for the right time to come?
Like me?
When the Sun looks down on u
Do u adjust with the darkness,
Or do u strive for the moon to show up?
When life hits u hard
Do u Take it with a smile
Or do u Hit it back?

Life has many things to offer
And those who cant find any one
Being all lonely
The two lonely people
Find each other
To fill each others life
with what they have and what they missed
Coz when two lonely people come close
They make wonders
So tell me
Is it only me??
Or is it us?

Tya!
27th April 2003′