“Lost You Completely”

Today I lost you completely
Today was the end, it finished completely
how many times wil I lie to my self
how many times wil I pretend
I don’t know my self
but I neva wanted to play with Ur emotions
I neva made fun of Ur love
coz I knew U were true
but all that made the difference
was that I neva knew my self
please forgive me for all I did
and for all the times I hurt U
all the times I made you cry
all the times I made you sad
U were too good to me
U reached out for the inner soul
which I never knew I had
but now that I have messed it all
now dat its all gone
I want to thank you
for all U did knowingly and unknowingly
for all that U tried to make out of me
for all that U strengthened in me
my qualities, my good points and myself
for all the times you took out for me
for all the times that U took
to be good to me and
to show me Ur true love n passion
I felt Ur feelings
I saw the disbelief on Ur face
the shock that U got
the moment I said no!
I saw the fear n tears in Ur eyes
just by the though of U loosing me
I knew I hurt U
and with the thought of not hurting U more
I responded negatively n said no
only if I had known myself
nothing wud have happened
I sensed the sadness in Ur voice
I felt the difficulty when U
tried to fight back Ur tears
and closed Ur eyes
to feel Ur self safe from danger
and to balance Urself
I saw that U were disturbed
when U cud’nt meet my eyes
and tried to look back to sumthing else
I saw a broken heart in U
when U tried to smile back
I saw the hurt in Ur gesture
I felt the emotions in Ur hand
when we shook hands in the last
an unfulfilled desire in Ur eyes
when our eyes met for the last time
and then I was gone
am sorry for all that I did
and thankyou for all that U did
I will remember U always
even if I find U
and even if Ur lost
I am sure, I will
I know

30th Oct 97


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