Happiness, Sadness & Guilt

I havnt been blogging actively for the past few weeks because i was busy with my new puppy that i was so waiting for 🙂

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Hes a total sweetheart and instantly took my heart away when i saw him, 3 months old, a mix of spits and a russian samoyd, Rather a common breed in my part of the world. I was busy house training him and teaching him commands and was happy to see that he got pretty well adjusted with my other dog pepsi. We named him Master shifu inspired by the kungfu pands coz he luked like a shifu hehe

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But a week down the line i realized that he has a habbit of biting and even though its just a playful bite for now it can get bad once he grows up if not trained properly. Also his breed barks alot, No matter how much i tried, his biting n excessive barking wont go off.
I live in an apartment complex sorta house with my inlaws and a few neighbors living in the same compound. Pepsi ( my poodle) was a much mellow dog and was fully trained when i got married, where as shifu is so active and hyper that i have been unable to train him well so far. i have never trained a hyper n a slightly aggressive dog before, i dont feel am cut for it. Although its only been 2 weeks and i know it takes more for a dog to get adjusted and be trained offcourse but if i can see that i am unable to stop him from bad habbits and my neighbors are getting disturbed by his barking I feel it wont b fair on him to live in a place where he cant freely be himself or be trained properly with me and neither on me if i cant handle him well. 😦 I even discussed it with the vet and he said that if i feel i cannot handle him now is the best time to return him, so that you both don’t get too attached to each other.
As sad as i may feel or no matter how much i cry by just the thought of letting him go i will have to return him back and the sooner the better so that he can go to a better home, a family who can keep him and train him well and adjust himself there. I am also feeling so guilty coz its not his fault that i neva trained a hyper dog before and i am unable to manage him properly, i feel so bad and ashamed of my self,  but its for the betterment of us both. I am going to miss that lil shifu face so much:'(

You think am doing the right thing?

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Intense

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!!!Intense !!!

With you i am so different
things that i have never done before
things that never happened
every thing comes to me, when am with u
when i talk to u, i feel so good
so much enlightened, so mcuh satisfied
i feel so much in love with u
so much complete
as if i found my soul mate
you are there with me all the time
you are always on my mind
with you i feel so intensly loved
you make me feel so good
as if i was never loved before
all i think the entire day
all that i can say is that
I love you so much
and the feeling is soo intense
that i just cant explain

Tya!
6th April 2000′

Arrested

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!!!Arrested!!!

With you i am never alone
coz with u i feel surrounded with love
each day u make me feel different
each day u make me feel complete
though therez nothing much between us right now
but i love the way u make me feel loved
i loved the way u wrapped ur arms around my leg
where i stood beside you while u were sitting
i loved the way u wrapped ur arms around me
even though we were standing in a crowd
we were infront of so many ppl
when u kept ur arm on my shoulder n dragged me near
i loved the way ur hand moved on my back
n played with my hair
while i rested i head on ur knee
my heart stopped with anticipation
when you grabbed my hand and asked me
“wat are u trying to do to me”
with ur head tilt on side
and eyes filled with confusion
i loved the way i pushed u in the corner
and u let ur self loose, n allowed me to kiss u
i loved the way u tried to protect me
during the water war in the ground
i loved the way u first held my hand “Knowingly”
but looked at me n said “excuse me?”
as if u didnt do any thing and were innocent
I love the way u make me feel loved n cared
& i might never be able to thank you
for all the things that u make me feel
i love the way u say “Dont go”
just before i put the phone down
i love the way u arrest me in ur thoughts
n i like to request you for just one thing today
Never Set Me Free
for i want to be arrested
in your thougth forever

Tya!
4th April 2000′